


a thousand misses (but sometimes i find you)

by desastrista



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Flashbacks, Fluff, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 21:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13726356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desastrista/pseuds/desastrista
Summary: Keith and Shiro keep missing Valentine's Day, but they're determined to make it work this year, even if it isn't always easy to tell how much time passes in outer space.(Written for Oppii for Sheithlentine's 2018)





	a thousand misses (but sometimes i find you)

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the prompt "Surprise valentine's gifts (like one of them forgot it was valentine's day, time gets confusing in space)" 
> 
> I liked the idea of time getting confusing in space, and ran with it. Thank you for providing the great prompt Oppii, and I hope that you enjoy the fic!

All five paladins were in the kitchen relaxing after a training drill when a small chime went off. 

“Did the Castle do that?” Hunk asked. He'd just taken a new and experimental protein goo out of the blender, and he gave the now empty glass a suspicious poke. 

“Nah, it's my watch,” Lance lifted his arm and showed off a leather band Shiro was sure he'd never seen before. “It's a new year!”

The rest of the paladins blinked at him in confusion. 

“I forgot I had left my old watch in my inner pocket when we left Earth," Lance explained. "It had died just a few days before. I found it and with Allura’s help was able to get it working again. But it's still on Earth time. Even Allura couldn’t fix it. Apparently Earth clocks are pretty incompatible with Altean time.” 

Pidge’s eyes lit up. She had never met an engineering problem she didn't want to throw herself at. “Just let me try --” 

“I kinda like that it's on Earth time,” Hunk shrugged. “So it's a new year, huh? Feels strange not to be celebrating.”

Keith shrugged. “New Year's always felt like just another date on the calendar. It's not like anything meaningful changes from December to January. And now in space there's even less of a difference.”

Lance was giving Keith an incredulous stare. “But New Year's! Staying up all night! Are there any holidays you like? Or are you so much of a loner that the only holiday you'll celebrate is Loner’s Day? Because I've got some bad news for you, Keith, Loner’s Day isn't even a holiday!”

“What are you even talking about --,” Keith started, his eyes narrowing. 

It had been too good a training session to let a dumb argument spiral out of control. “I always preferred the lunar New Year,” Shiro interjected with a smile. “Although I don't think you could tell when that was with your watch.”

“Fourth of July, hands down,” Pidge said. “There's so much you can do with fireworks. My dad would buy dozens of them each year, and we'd experiment. I think one year the government temporarily flagged our house as an active war zone.”

“Fourth of July is fun,” Hunk conceded. “But Thanksgiving is the only holiday dedicated to one big meal, so it's the best. My mom taught me everything I know about cooking. She needed the extra help in the kitchen with all the dishes she planned.”

The argument went on in good spirits for a few more minutes. Shiro watched Keith the whole time. He never volunteered his favorite holiday.

_Valentine's Day,_ Keith had told Shiro when he asked the same question back in their Garrison days. _One year we'll get to celebrate it properly._

There wasn't really something like “a year” when you could see a dozen galaxies between when you woke up and went to bed.

But despite that, Shiro still thought this was going to be their year.

 

*****

 

Shiro and Keith met the day after Valentine’s Day. 

Normally, Shiro probably wouldn’t even have known that the holiday happened. It had been a few years since he last had a boyfriend, and so there wasn’t any particularly reason to remember the date. He was used to finding out about the holiday by going into a store and seeing boxes of chocolate half-off. 

But this year was different, because this year on February 14th, Matt found him in the library and said with a loud sigh of exasperation, “You can’t keep doing this to me, Shiro.” 

Shiro shushed him even as Matt took the seat across from him. “The librarian is going to kick me out if you don’t quiet down,” he whispered. “I need to study. Besides, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Six texts,” Matt whispered back, and pointed to his phone for dramatic emphasis. “ _Six_ texts.” He looked down and started to read, in a mock falsetto, “‘Hey Matt, you’re friends with Shiro, right?’ Another one: ‘hi Matt, how are you? Have you seen Shiro today?’” Matt looked back to Shiro with an expression of great indignity. “I’ve never even talked to these people before!” 

“That’s weird,” Shiro agreed. 

Matt gave another sigh. “I didn’t respond, but they kept texting. All of them started to talk about Valentine’s Day.” His attention turned back to his phone as he read again, “‘Do you know if Shiro has a date tonight?’ ‘Can I get Shiro’s number?’ This is outrageous.” 

Shiro had to hide his laugh behind his hand. He could see the librarian glaring at them from across the room. 

“I totally forgot that was today.” 

“These people didn’t,” Matt responded at once. “Shiro, six people have already texted me to let me know how much they have not forgotten it is Valentine’s Day.” He added with a sulk, “And none of them were asking about me.” 

“Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?” 

“Yeah,” Matt scoffed. “I have a hot date with a half dozen messages to delete. But before I can do that, I have to at least ask -- Shiro do you want me to give any of these people your number?” 

Shiro shook his head. “I’m not interested in dating right now. I’ve got a lot of other stuff on my plate.” 

Shiro would remember those words because Matt would repeat them back several times verbatim in an incredulous tone when he found out about Keith. That was just under a week later. 

On the fifteenth, however, Shiro did not know any of that. He was heading into one of the available flight simulators just as an underclassman with black hair walked out muttering, “Three seconds faster…” 

“You’re trying to set the record?” Shiro asked with a smile, dawdling near the entrance. “It’s crazy fast. I haven’t even come close.” 

The other student blinked at him twice in confusion. “I set that record,” he finally said in a flat voice. 

“Oh. Wow.” The words came half-strangled out of Shiro’s throat. He wasn’t sure if he was more embarrassed or impressed. When the other student turned back to go, Shiro heard himself asking, “Uh, by any chance -- do you want to get coffee sometime?” 

“Coffee?” the other student echoed uncertainly, like he’d never heard of such a substance. 

“Yeah,” Shiro felt his cheeks reddening but hoped it wasn’t too obvious. “Uh, whenever you’re free.” 

For a minute the other student was quiet. Then he said, “Sure,” and gave a smile that looked a little like the relevant muscles might have been out of practice. Shiro couldn’t help smiling back. 

It was a half-second before he realized he didn’t know the other student’s name. “I’m Shiro,” he managed to blurt out and to his credit he only half-wished the flight simulator would swallow him whole at that moment. 

“Keith.” Another smile at Shiro, and this time it looked a little less hesitant. 

They exchanged phone numbers, and then Shiro stepped into the flight simulator feeling like he was walking on air. It was only after a few minutes did he think about all the flyers for deals on coffee and cake for two he had seen around campus, and realize he had just missed them. 

 

***** 

 

This was the thing about traveling in space: it was easy to lose track of time, because time had so many meanings. There was time on the Castle. The ship dimmed its light a little too late for it to be the start of a night on Earth, and even the latest risers in the Castle were up before what would be considered a morning back home. There was also time on the planets they visited: each had its own rotation. The planet they were currently staying on was small, and a day only lasted about six hours. They’d already worked hard to drive the Galra off the planet and were taking a short break: before they knew it, it was their third day on the planet. A local hotel had opened its doors for them to stay during the nights; it was dark when Shiro went to Lance’s room and gave a tentative knock. 

Lance came out in his bathroom, eyes blinking like he’d been asleep. “Shiro, do you know what time it was?” When Shiro looked mildly surprised at the question, he continued, “It’s past sundown. Why aren’t you asleep?” 

“It’d still be in the afternoon in the Castle,” Shiro felt compelled to point out. “I didn’t realize anyone was actually sleeping with these shortened days.” 

“I prefer to think of it as ‘blending in with the locals’,” Lance shrugged. 

“I wanted to ask you about the time. Not here, but on Earth.” Lance looked confused, and Shiro continued, “You have that watch --”

“Oh, right. Gimme a sec.” Lance disappeared back in the room and then after a minute where clothes were thrown haphazardly around, he said, “It’s uh 7:35 PM in Cuba.” 

“What day?” Shiro called back. 

“February 1st.” Shiro let out a frustrated noise. He had been trying to track, and he’d been confident that there was still a few more days in January -- 

Lance peeked back out of the room. “Anything wrong?” 

Shiro gave a quick smile. “It’s nothing. I, uh, just might ask again sometime soon. But, uh, I gotta go. Get some sleep, Lance.” 

Lance nodded. “Now you’re talking sense.” 

 

 

Shiro left the hotel to go out into the alien night not long after that. Most of the shops in the nearby vicinity were closed; all the locals were probably sleeping safe and warm in their own beds. (Or whatever they used for sleeping here. The contraption provided in the hotel room had looked weird and Shiro was glad he had no plans to use it.) It took a few minutes to find somewhere that still had its lights on. Inside there were a few aliens sitting at a table eating something in what could generously be called a bowl. Shiro walked in and went up to the alien sitting behind the counter. 

“Uh, do you sell anything that’s like chocolate?” he asked. Keith liked chocolate, although it had taken him a long time to actually realize it. Before he’d met Shiro, he had only had milk chocolate. Dark chocolate had been a revelation for him. The more bitter the chocolate, the better. Shiro didn’t quite understand it, but he half-expected Keith would be happiest just eating a cocoa bean raw. In fact, Shiro had once told Keith that he would buy him a cocoa plant to test this theory. He had planned on doing it, but then he got selected for the Kerberos mission and it wasn’t exactly easy to find a cocoa tree in space. 

So he was left trying to buy chocolate surreptitiously on an alien world where daylight was only a few hours away. 

The alien behind the counter was not going to make this easy. It gave a gruff noise and said, “Did you sneeze or something? What are you asking for?”

Shiro sighed and tried to think of the best way to ask what he was looking for. “Dessert?” he finally settled on. “Does your planet have that?” 

A few heads turned at the word. The alien let out a click whose meaning Shiro didn’t quite understand. But there was something devious in the smile. “Dessert, eh? That’s quite the commitment.” 

Shiro blanched. “Uh, I mean --” 

“I don’t know what planet you’re from, but here on Izajil having dessert with someone isn’t something we do lightly. It’s the start of a lifetime bond. And best done in the private of one’s own room.” 

“That is a little different from how it is on Earth,” Shiro replied meekly. He was glad that the Valentine’s Day candy he had gotten in the past did not come with that kind of baggage. He considered just going back to the hotel, but he did have less than two Earth weeks -- and who knew how fast that time would go on the castle. So he stayed firm. “Do you have any dessert that I can buy?” 

Bargaining with the alien took a few minutes but Shiro went back to the hotel with a nice box that contained more than a dozen tiny bright yellow squares. He snuck one before collapsing on the not-quite-a-bed. No point giving Keith a Valentine’s Day gift that would get him sick or would be somehow inedible. 

The dessert tasted vaguely of fish. Shiro stuck out his tongue in disgust. 

 

****** 

 

The Kerberos mission ship had clocks near all major controls so that the crew would always stay in sync with mission control. Shiro liked having them around. It made him feel more grounded somehow. Everything just seemed to move so slowly in space and it was easy to forget how much time had already passed on Earth. As beautiful as seeing the galaxy was, Shiro knew he would really appreciate seeing a sunset again when he got back home. 

He’d kept an eye on the clock so closely as February 14th approached that even Dr. Holt asked if everything was alright. 

“Just waiting for something,” he would say. 

The holiday came and went and Shiro still had no incoming messages. 

Another two days, same story. 

Just as Shiro started to think Keith had probably forgotten about the holidays (the Garrison was probably keeping him busy), a message flagged “Friends and Family” finally arrived for Shiro. He opened it in his room and instantly the screen lit up with the familiar image of Keith’s dorm room. 

Keith was tapping at the screen and his nose scrunched in confusion. “Is this thing on?” he muttered to himself as he gave the screen a final tap. Shiro grinned like an idiot watching it. 

“Well,” Keith finally settled down to sit in front of the camera. “They say this message could take a few days to reach you, so I made this a few days before Valentine’s Day just to be sure. I hope it reaches you in time.” Keith was smiling and so was Shiro, although he winced a little at those last words. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Shiro! I made a cake in your honor, because I know how much you like cake. I would show it to you, but, uh, the fire department confiscated it. Something about ‘causing dangerous levels of smoke’?” Shiro watched the monitor as Keith ran a hand through his hair and gave a deep sigh. But a thought seemed to occur to him, and his eyes lit up. “Guess you’ll just have to show me how to bake a cake _without_ almost destroying the oven when you get back.” Another smile, and then a pause. 

“I miss you a lot. I know it must be so amazing on the way to Kerberos, but come back soon. Happy Valentine’s Day, Shiro.” 

The message ended. 

Shiro stared at his screen for a long time after it went black. 

 

******

 

When the platform that Allura used to control the ship started to glitch, Coran declared they would need to stop to pick up spare parts for the repair. He gushed about the craftiness of the inhabitants of Borbely, but when they actually reached the planet, that wasn’t the first words the paladins would have used to describe what they saw. 

Keith was the first to put it into words. “This place -- looks like a circus.” 

“Ah,” Coran started. “I’ve heard of that Earth expression. You may think that this place appears disorganized or chaotic, but actually the Borbelians have their own elaborate system of --”

“No,” Pidge cut in. “Keith is right. This looks like an actual circus.” 

There was a big tent in the middle of the market. There was something undeniable about it that made it feel like a Big Top. Sure, it was bright purple and square instead of round. It was also levitating several feet off the ground. But between the decorations and bright lights around the edge of the tent and the stalls with aliens hawking sweets and offering prices, the whole place was unmistakably a circus. 

“Coran, are you sure this is the right place?” Hunk asked, with a suspicious look around. 

“You have to know the right alien to talk to when you're on Borbely, of course, but for those in the know the market has a way of providing what you need.” Coran gave his mustache a small, self-satisfied flourish. 

Lance just looked impatient. “Yeah, yeah. But for those of us not in the know, can we just head to the circus?” 

“I suppose it might make more sense for me to go alone to bargain,” Coran said. “Like my father always said, too many shepherds scare off the uixaca, right?” 

“Of course,” Lance nodded, not even looking at Coran as he started for the tent. 

“I hope there’s elephants,” Hunk said as he started to follow Lance. “You know, like space elephants. But really well-treated. I bet on Borbely they have a lot of respect for space elephants.” The last few words that Keith heard before the two of them disappeared into the crowd was, “As they should.” 

“Were you planning on going?” Shiro turned to Pidge, who shrugged. 

“Circuses are lame,” she shrugged. But Keith could see the way she was eyeing the tent. “But -- I just can’t figure out what is causing that levitation. It doesn’t look like any engine design I’ve ever seen.” 

She was still talking about engines when she started to follow Lance and Hunk. 

“Well, Coran, are you sure you don’t want anyone else to go with you?” Shiro asked. Coran shook his head. 

“There’s a lot to discover on Borbely,” Coran said. “You kids have fun!” And then he too turned to go, leaving just Keith and Shiro. 

“Do you want to see what this space circus is all about?” Shiro asked with a smile. “It could be fun.” 

A plan had been developing itself in Keith’s mind since Lance left for the circus. He’d been looking for an opportunity like this for a few weeks; he had to make the most of it. “I think I’ll pass. I want to take a look around the stalls. I’ll meet you guys back in the Castle.” 

He made sure that Shiro was safely out of sight before he turned to the stalls and started to look for one that had what he wanted. 

After all, the tent was interesting, but some of these stalls were giving away prizes. And _some_ of these rewards had to be something suitable for Shiro, right? 

Keith had always wanted to give Shiro one of those ridiculously oversized teddy bears they had at circuses, but he had never been able to win one. Twice he had won smaller prizes, and on one notable occasion he had been escorted off premises for arguing with the attendant about what he _should_ have won if the game hadn't been rigged.

Walking through the stalls here, though, Keith didn’t see any oversized stuffed animals. He didn’t actually see much of anything that looked remotely familiar. A lot of what the booths had appeared to be alien technology. This one had a line of boxes covered in circles of colored lights; the one flanked with children pointing excitedly had what appeared to be colored sticks tied together. The further Keith walked, the more disappointed he grew. None of what he was seeing looked like something he could explain what it was to Shiro, let alone give to him as a gift for Valentine’s Day. 

Just when Keith had half made up his mind to return back to the Castle, when a glimpse of white caught his attention. He took a few steps forward and the shape of what he had seen slowly came into view. It was a prize that looked somewhat like a stuffed animal: large, soft, and vaguely animal shaped. But it was a creature that Keith had never seen before, with three heads, all of them with a matching set of (miniature, soft) fangs. 

He stared at the prizes for a minute in confusion and then asked the attendant, “What are those?” 

The alien scoffed. “Why, these are offerings to the Goddess Squiteri, of course. There’s a festival tomorrow, so if you want one, you’re going to have to move quickly. One of these can be yours if you can hit ten tarpom in five ticks.” 

“They’re not -- alive or poisonous or anything, are they?” Keith had spent enough time on alien planets to know that even if something looked harmless, there was no guarantee. And of course it would be just his luck to accidentally give his boyfriend a Valentine that tried to kill him. 

The attendant laughed. “No, don’t worry about that. These represent the evils that She vanquishes from the world every sun rise, but they won’t actually harm you.” 

Keith took a moment to consider whether or not he really wanted to give Shiro a gift that was supposed to represent evil in the world. It wasn’t exactly what he had hoped to find. But the odds of him finding something better before the holiday seemed pretty low. 

With a sigh, he picked up the toy blaster that was on the counter in front of him. It took four tries, the blaster had started to smoke and a small alien had started to cry because Keith wouldn’t let them take a turn, but in the end Keith returned to the Castle before the other paladins got back with something that could reasonably pass for a stuffed animal. 

It wasn’t exactly what he had wanted to get Shiro for Valentine’s Day, but it would have to do.

 

****

 

Keith didn’t notice it had been Valentine’s Day until a few days too late. He hadn’t been as concerned with keeping track of days since the Garrison had expelled him. Time passed strangely in his little shack in the desert. That was what happened when you could easily go a few days without seeing anyone else. 

He only saw people when he came into town to fetch supplies, and it was during one of these trips that he happened to notice the last vestiges of the holiday. Near the exit at the grocery store there was a small box with an empathetic label of “50% off everything!!!” Inside were a few scattered heart-shaped gift boxes with corny declarations of love. 

Keith normally wouldn’t have given them a second glance, but one of the designs looked familiar. He stopped to look at each of the boxes individually. It took a few minutes and then the memory came to him at once: Shiro had had one of these boxes on his desk in his room just after Keith had met him. It had been so early in the relationship -- in the stage where they weren’t even sure it _was_ a relationship yet. Most of that time was a blur, but Keith remembered asking about the chocolates. 

_”I always just liked Valentine’s Day,”_ Shiro had shrugged, and then laughed. _“It’s a good time to buy chocolate at a discount._

If Keith focused hard enough, he could practically hear Shiro’s voice saying those words. 

The memory should have hurt. Shiro was gone. It had been months since the Kerberos mission had been reported lost. _Pilot error_ , they had said, and the words still made Keith see red. Keith knew Shiro. There was no way that Shiro would have lost that mission. 

It wasn’t true. Keith knew that. He didn’t know how or why any of it could have happened, but he knew the truth of it in his bones. He was going to see Shiro again. And until then, Keith was going to hold onto every little memory of Shiro that he could. 

Keith bought one of the boxes. He ate the chocolates slowly over the week, as he poured over some of the research he had found that might help explain the strange energy in the desert. It had always been Shiro who liked chocolate, but Keith found he could start to understand the appeal. 

 

**** 

 

It couldn’t have been more than two weeks later that they found themselves on the planet Keplared. It had been a tough fight to liberate the planet from the Galra, and the lions had taken significant damage. 

“Please, stay the night,” the mayor had asked them. “We can provide furnishings for you and help work on the repairs for your lions -- and that way you can see the festival of the Three Moons!” 

“The three moons?” Pidge echoed. 

The mayor’s eyestalks lifted in what Keith could only guess was excitement. “This planet has three moons, but due to their orbits, usually only one or two is visible at a time. Once every few vis, however, all three are visible at once. It is considered one of the luckiest nights on this planet, and very popular with couples.” The eyestalks lifted again. “To come at such a night like this, your timing is most auspicious!” 

Keith felt his mouth go suddenly dry. But luckily no one was looking to him to do any talking, as Lance leaned forward. “A couple’s night, you say? So will the Keplari ladies be looking to find their star-crossed lover tonight?” 

“Something along those lines,” the mayor agreed. 

“Alright, then we have to stay.” Lance said. 

All eyes were on Shiro, who shrugged. “It seems like a good idea. The repairs for the lions are probably going to take a while, so it’s not like we have anywhere better to go.” 

“Festival time!” said Lance. “So, uh, Mayor. Where can I find said ladies?” 

“This planet divides gender into a spectrum along three axises, so I am not sure if you will find any ‘ladies’, but generally the beach is the most popular location.” The mayor pointed to the horizon; Keith thought he could make out the general outline of waves in the distance, although it was hard to tell as the sky had gotten darker. 

“I’ll take it,” Lance said. “Hunk, are you coming?” 

“This is a celebration, right? So barbecues, that kind of thing?” Hunk asked the mayor quickly, even as Lance looked ready to leave. 

“Cooks can spend an entire vis preparing a meal for this night,” the mayor answered. “You’ll find the finest culinary spreads we have to offer tonight.” 

“Ok, I’ll definitely take that,” Hunk said, and he started towards the beach with Lance on his heels. 

“I’m not going to the beach,” Pidge crossed her arms. “It’s impossible to get sand out of these boots.” 

“It’s an alien beach, there might not be sand,” Shiro pointed out. 

“Actually, Keplared has the finest sand this side of the galaxy,” the mayor added, even as Shiro winced. 

“It might be worth it, to see the festival,” Shiro tried again. 

“I’m going to check out the lions. I don’t want them to mess up Green’s cloaking device, and I want to know what kind of tech they’re going to use. I’ll see you guys in a few hours.” 

After Pidge left, Shiro turned to Keith. “Guess that just leaves the two of us. Do you want to go to the beach?” 

In the quiet Keith could hear the faintest sound of music wafting in the air. It was probably going to be crowded. Maybe Lance and Hunk would find what they wanted there, but Keith had other ideas. “I’d rather go somewhere where it can stay just the two of us,” he said, and was relieved when Shiro smiled. 

They walked away from the beach and eventually made their way up to a large hill. They could see the beach -- with all its lights and crowds -- ahead of them, and above that, only partially obscured by clouds, three moons hanging in the sky. 

Keith and Shiro watched them in silence for a moment. It was Keith who spoke first. “I think Valentine’s Day is a few days away. Earth days, I mean. Or did it already pass?” He frowned. “I should have asked Lance before he left what his watch says.” 

Shiro shook his head. “I asked him this morning, and he said that Pidge took a look at it and said it wasn’t running properly. When he reset it, it was February 18th.” 

Keith swore under his breath. “So, we completely missed it.” 

“I don't know,” Shiro started to smile. “On this planet, this ceremony only occurs every few vis. However long a vis is.” 

“‘Auspicious timing,’” Keith quoted, trying to sound as serious as the mayor had been, but he found he couldn’t stop smiling. 

“I was going to give you chocolate for Valentine’s Day,” Shiro confessed. “Or at least, the closest I could find to space chocolate. It, uh, tastes like fish instead.” 

“I like fish more than most chocolate,” Keith pointed out, as Shiro shook his head in disbelief. “I got you a gift too. It’s supposed to be a stuffed animal. Except its an alien creature I’ve never seen before, and apparently is supposed to be a religious symbol for evil. Also I’ve noticed its eyes follow me around the room.” He frowned. “I think it might be haunted.” 

They both fell quiet for a moment. 

Then Shiro laughed. “You know, this may sound crazy, I think this is probably my favorite Valentine’s Day we’ve shared so far.” 

Keith had started to smile, but a thought occurred to him. “But does it count? We missed it by a few days.” 

Shiro looked towards the three moons and then back to Keith. “I like our timing,” he said, as he leaned down to kiss Keith.


End file.
